And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you would pick up someone in the library
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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