I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
