Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
