I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
