i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
