she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
