I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize