shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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