Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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