Its about making memories worth repressing
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
