This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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