I'm gonna have a badass scar
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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