If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
