I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
This baby is an asshole
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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