I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
