His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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