i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
