girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
