You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
