I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
