Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
