I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
