ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
