Where did you get a picture of my penis
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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