____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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