I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
