But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
