if only i could text you this smell
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
No subtext here. People are naked.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
