I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
