If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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