Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just saw a hot homeless man
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Green mimosas i think yes
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize