Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
