How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I am mentally ready for anal.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
