Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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