hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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