i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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