i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
