my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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