Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm too high and old for this...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
