I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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