The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
