She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize