this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He passed out mid-signature
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize