At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
