Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I deserve this hangover.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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