oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
