We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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