Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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