but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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