We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
