need another drink. this is the easiest way
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
