Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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