I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
