YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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