first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
